☆ that flashy thing ☆

dear dolce,

im still a huge-asu camwhore.

❀ ✿ ❁

 

 

god knows how bad i want a quality camera...
i love to take picture of everything.
nature. me. balloons. insects. people. me. sky. and me.

 
i dont even care if i didnt look good. i just love to capture any moment and be mesmerized over the colours, composition and just about everything on it.
its like a time machine.
it just wont move.
and that is also why i need a better camera. to atleast have a moving memories a.k.a videos!

 
my newly damaged nokia phone haz only 3.2 mp camera, then i have to use my brother's phone which only haz 2.0 mp.
god, Y U NO let me not suffer..

my phone can only record a video for a maximum of 31sec. plus bad quality (TT_TT)"

 

i've always wanted a DSLR camera...but ofcourse i cant afford it now cz im just a student. and its a bit expensive to ask it from my parents (=3=)


 
so my latest target is the new Olympus Pen Lite or Olympus Pen Mini.



its not as big as some dslr. its small and light. its like a digital camera and dslr combined! well atleast that's how i sees it, problem? =A=
and ze pictures captured is superrrr amazing!!!

<< Olympus pen lite

Olympus pen mini >>

i've read many reviews of it and none wuz bad.
ze pictures turned out super amazing and like its bein photoshopped n i dont have to go edit and hipsterize it nemore.
oh oh aaand OPmini haz it in light baby pink!! supa kawaii~ ❤
am not a big fan of pink but still like it xD

plus so many amazing featuresss #iwantitnow (TT____TT) muguyaa~
but OPmini costs around rm2000+ and OPlite almost reaches rm3000..
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i need a job. and money.
.
.
.
or just money.

❀ ✿ ❁

 

TheMonsterCommunityⓒ

dear dolce,

i really wish u'd live to see me improve "orz...

❀ ✿ ❁

 

so. i really like to draw. ranging from manga style to doodling monsters.

i cant remember when i started doodling, but doodling a bunch of monsters started early this year when i was doing my english essay assignments.

im so stressed out, and as usual i'll scribble some things on d nearest paper.
not noticing it turned out to be one bunch of ugly monsters. but i kinda like it xD

 

 

inside you 

 

yea so this is my first bunch of ugly monsters doodle. its not that neat and detailed at first yet it felt great.
that's when the name TheMonsterCommunity© came into my mind..

from that day forth, i've been dooling bunch of monsters, each doodle with different themes..

 

 

 

here's 5 of my latest doodle:

 

 

anger management

 

the sign

 

jennifer's school

 

graceful jump

 

 

hairdo

 

 

 

 

and here are some of the earliest doodles:

 

 

 

 

i even print out one of my doodle on t-shirt  ♡

 

 

 

 

 

i dont know anything about shirt printing/designing. lol. but its fun to try. i'll try to improve on my next printing plans ㋛

all the imperfectness of these doodles are done on purpose. i like it not being perfect. i just want it to be different and easy on the eye, lol i hope so xD

oh. all of these are taken using my hp cam and edited using SAI/microsoft office, thats why it sux to da max hahaahaa...

im not gonna go all masochist on this. im proud of my artworks and i'll improve.
i'd be very happy if my art inspires anyone, but never happy to be copied =_=+
anyone can use my artworks for some purposes, u just need to ask for my permission.

❀ ✿ ❁

some things are just pure craps

dear dolce,

ur the best companion i've ever had and i miss every precious moments of it i really do. i wish u could send me another angel just like u. and make it human? :)
 

❀ ✿ ❁

 

 

i started to realize the changes in some of my friends behavior.

 

became very egoistic.
feels like they're super cool n i'm suddenly lame.
raised voice over nothing, just trying to annoy me.

annoyed n sensitive over everything that i said.
make an obvious sighing n eye-rolling.
selfish.
self-centered.
some more shit.

 

i think they just wanted to show me that they dont want me to be around them very often anymore.
smart @_@
wut did i do anyway?
i kno u guys find n make awesome new friends, but u dont have to try so hard to kick me off. at least make it less obvious -__-
its so annoying.

 
friends come and go.
esp those who ur trying so hard to impress.
not me -_-
i stay cz im sincere.
maybe one day u'll come to realize it.

 

if u really dont want me anywhere near u like ur da king and im da stray dog, fine o_o
i guess u dont worth my time, neither my sincere friendship -_-



maybe im not that cool. (i'm awesome)
maybe im not that hipster. (i'm just that awesome)
maybe ur new friends are perfect. (i'm just perfectly awesome)



guess u finally found ur dream team. im just a stepping stone.



enjoy ur new famous life,

pal.

❀ ✿ ❁

 

 

gosh, such an emo post xD

feels like barfing -__-

 

but i felt so annoyed even though i tried so hard not to give a damn.
its just so hurtful -__-" ugh.to care about friends n to be treated back like this.
makes me feel like crap.


*sigh*

 

 

daijoubu, i guess it'll wear off in no time.
n really hope i'll get to make new friends too. who're really nice Q_Q
lol #foreveralone "orz...

❥ ② years

☺❤☺
/♥\./█\
  ||. .|| <--- this is liesss...he's not this fat -_-

[19 sept]

 

its our anniversary laaah~ lololol ♡

just for being together, not married or anything xD


for now, its my longest relationship with a guy nyahaa~

i appreciate every dem moment.

wishing he's not another jerk lol

 

no he's not =w=

best thing about rill (yes him) is that..he's not hot-tempered.

he controls his emotions n feelings very well. i love that.

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aaand..he's one crazydumbsucklilmonkeywholikestomakestoopidjokes  hahah..

oh. 

here's what we did last year for our 1st anniversary (pffftt..) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

we live far away so what we did is..webcam. lol sad i know "orz...

today. we still live far faarr away xDDD
and we both are so busy we dont have time to even webcam chat.

and today, im not that ugly anymore, i've upgraded to not-so-ugly-yet-still-feeling-ugly-but-gain-more-confidence-than-last-year...gahahaaah~

 

 

 

 got ya annoyed? xD

 

 

 

oh. here's one more. im the one at far left. just post it cuz my sister looks funny lol. at the centre is my lil' brother

 

 

 

aaah~ since this is an anniversary post, so might as well put him inda picture too =3= cheh.

  

 

 mother of god. im with freak "orz...

"today. we still live far faarr away xDDD
and we both are so busy we dont have time to even webcam chat."

actually..HE's busy -__-
im butting chair while slapping my laptop every 2mins cuz the line is so slow (daddy! Y U NO put password?!!)..

neighbours use our line every night and the line got veeery slow like a drunk two-legged turtle.

aaanyways...
here's a bunny.

(V)
(. .) ♡
c(”)(”)

half way through

i was doing some touch-up to my make up in Jusco Bukit Tinggi mall 2 days ago..
when my phone suddenly ringing..

  
✆ "private number calling"


...should i pick up? -_- *while touchin' up my lips*
cz i had some bad memories with private number calling me years ago.
but meh~ i just pick up xD
.
.
.
.
.

"hello?"



"heroo, ai yem kooring furom jiapan, isu disu missu suriannnaa?? kenu aiyi tokutu missu suriannaa?"
.
.
.
.
.
...-____-..*runs outsde the bathroom immediately*
i talked excitedly to that japanese guy that i forgot i left my handbag etc in the bathroom lol. thank god my sister is inside, also touchin' up her face. ngeheh..


so the news is...im still not sure whether i got a place at the Japanese school but i am now 50% sure!!!

..RAYA..? ☂

dear dolce,

i miss u too much TT"___"TT

❀ ✿ ❁

 

4 or 5 more days till Aidilfitri.. 

its like one of the happiest celebrations. ne?
not really for me. maybe not this year.

why.

..because Dolce died one day before last year's eid..

i want to celebrate it with him.

eid/raya without dolce on the first day of the festive was devastating. heart-breaking. heart-throbbing.

how can i possibly enjoy the day when he died d day before?

he's one of the dearest one to me. a son. closest soul.

i know he's in his last few days, but i just cant face the fact that he'll eventually die.

'they' want me to put him to 'sleep' since we cant visit him during raya. so there, i killed my son.

how can i ever accept this fact.

i never felt that sad. not in my years of breathing.

when i brought home his dead body, i ran up to my room with him. cuz one thing that i regret the most is that, i didnt get to bring him back home to our room when he's still alive. (i started to cry at this point of typing..)
and i know that he want it badly.

every time i visit him at the vet ward, he tried to stands up..shaking, wanting me to bring him back home.


how deep is the sadness..i wonder.


i dont know.


cuz i still cry whenever i think of him. even though its been a year. never had this kind of feeling.
missing something too deep. too much.


i can never forgive myself.
this thought never leaves my head.

what did he actually wants?


1. to live n suffer till he die, but he'll live his life to the fullest n spend times a bit longer with me.

or..

2. ends the suffer by hoping we'll put him to 'sleep'.

do i have the power to take away his life?
do i have rights over his decisions?

how can i watch n let him died..he was staring into my eyes deeply..

we are not just owners n pets.

its more than that.

we are two souls that complete each other.

dolce..i really miss you.

 

 

❀ ✿ ❁

 

 

❀ ✿ ❁